Huge life problem this is terrible nothing works for me everything I do fails I probably need help what to do?

Okay firstly I am 19 Years old, and I am still living with my parents. My Dad has been abusive since I can remember, especially verbally, he has treated my Mom bad many times as well. Neither of my parents knows I am gay, they hate gays and my Dad might kill me. I keep thinking maybe I could move out but that is hard for me too do as I only have about 3 thousand in cash to go some place. I wish I could find a BF too so I am not alone all the time, but I can't do that even, every time I try to talk to other guys on myspace for some reason they aren't interested , probably cause I am not very good looking which MAKES MY LIFE WORSE. My dad frequently insults my intelligence when I work with him, constant things to make you feel stupid and down. I keep thinking now maybe he is right, I have like no friends I never did well socially, IDK what to do sometimes I feel like dieing and I cry for hours thinking about how ESCAPE here or make my life better but IDK what to do any ideas?Huge life problem this is terrible nothing works for me everything I do fails I probably need help what to do?
honey.....if you are 19 and you have $3000, then you must have a job. if you are unhappy there, and you clearly are, maybe you should seriously look into moving out. i don't know where you live,(what state) but if you have a job and have been there for a while, you should be able to find a small furnished studio apartment and get out on your own. you can check for listings at some place like www.craigslist.com and find an apartment or even a room to rent from someone. once you get out of your parents house, then you can address your other issues. if your dad feels so strongly about homosexuality, the last place you want to be when he finds out about it is in HIS house. as for making friends, start by going places that you like and talk to people there, you will have something to talk about because you are both there for the same reason. don't worry about finding a BF, just make FRIENDS and take your time. getting away from your fathers mean remarks and constant put downs will be the best thing you can do for yourself. once you start feeling better about yourself you can think about finding a BF, or better yet, he'll find you. good luck and think pleasant thoughts...........MLHuge life problem this is terrible nothing works for me everything I do fails I probably need help what to do?
You really need to move out, and $3000 is enough to get started. Find someone on craiglist looking for a roommate or housemate. This is the cheapest way to go, because paying rent for one room in a multi-room place is cheaper than paying rent for a 1-bedroom or studio apt (and then paying a deposit). In my area, rooms go for around $500 a month, and this is one of the most expensive rental markets. So $3000 should last you at least 3-4 months, which is enough time to find a job, or get into a community college with financial aid.
Save a few more thous and move far far away!! I personally think that you could move with what you have. Many ppl have moved with less. Try lifting ur self esteem, quit looking down on urself as much as ur parents do. You are your own person and if youre not happy with you, odds are you will never be able to lift yourself up. Me personally, i love gay guys. But then again im a woman. Oh and one more thing, i'll be your friend. visit my myspace myspace.com/pmag and yes its for my business but i'll add u as a friend and giv ya my info.
As far as your father: People who abuse others physically and or mentally do it for control. They feel they have no control of their own life so they try to control others. Also people who behave in that manner suffer with a low self-esteem and probably although not always was abused themselves. (no excuse for their behavior.)





He probably acts as if he is better and superior than others but deep down inside he is suffering himself. Again no excuse for his behavior.





Try to remember that he is in the wrong and you are a good person.





Moveing would be great if you can afford to do so. What you may want to consider is going to college. You can get finacial aide. http://www.fafsa.ed.gov





This would help pay for school. Take out student loans if need be and move onto campus.





This will get you away from home. Build your self-esteem through education and put you into a social setting where you can meet new people. When your all done with college you will get the iceing on the cake. (good paying job)





Good luck to you!
Get away from your father, now. 3K is enough to do that. If you do not live in a city, move to one and rent a studio. Then decide if you want to go to college, work, or what. Get a job in a restaurant and work your way up to waiter. This is a good interim job to support yourself with. Then figure out what you like to do and do it. This will give you a life where socializing is not central.





I know the gay male community can be very tough for guys who are not beautiful, but there is someone out there for you. Be as attractive as you can, learn style; personality will do the rest. Your personality. There is a great life out there for you, with a new family of friends who will love you just the way you are. Don't stay in that dark and lonely place.